Hate versus forgiveness

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” -Mahatma Gandhi

Hating takes up so much of energy and so much of time. Once you decide to forgive, its amazing how much more relaxed and satisfied you become. Over recent times, although I never did get to the hate stage, I became obsessed with getting people to acknowledge the wrong that they had done. I reacted to this by going on the attack. I always regretted my reactions almost immediately. Some things once done however cannot be undone. I have not previously been known to be a very forgiving person but I have luckily not been put in a position before where people I really do care for have hurt me deeply.

My method of approach was simple. I like writing so I wrote down what was done to me, and then looked at this from the other persons point of view and could ALMOST understand why they did what they did. I then looked at how I responded. And how I felt when and after I responded. And I forgave myself for my response and stopped beating myself up about it. It was then easy to forgive them them for what they did. And I have moved on.

I have grown a lot in the last 3 months as a person and Sandie and I have grown even closer as a couple. One thing we have always had is that we have been able to talk openly and honestly with one another about everything.

I just hope that one day, these friends (yes I still regard them as friends) are able to experience the unconditional love, trust and openness that I share with Sandie every single day.

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