True Power does not need to be demonstrated

Posted on November 3, 2011 by Naylin

Power is like being a lady… if you have to tell people you are, you aren’t. Margaret Thatcher.

As a Black South African, I was considered a 2nd class citizen. This has made me oppose vociferously attempts by people in so called positions of power trying to usurp their authority over me. I have fought all my life against being oppressed for no reason and I find myself having to do this from time to time.

People with real power, never have to do anything to demonstrate that they are in charge. They command authority and respect without having to put anyone down to do this.

I have never been able to conceive how any rational being could propose happiness to himself from the exercise of power over others. Thomas Jefferson

Posted in Deep and Meaningful | 2 Comments

Optimism

Posted on November 2, 2011 by Naylin

“You see things; and you say “why?” But I dream of things that never were, and I say “Why not?” – George Bernard Shaw”

I have always been a cup half full kinda guy. We all know people who are so cup half empty that even when things are going absolutely perfectly, they look for and quite often find reasons to make things imperfect. Its almost like they don’t feel like they deserve happiness and instead of enjoying the moment they look for all the possible reasons why it is going to end.

Being the eternal optimist, its hard for me to fathom this line of thinking and perhaps I’m not as understanding as I should be in these situations.

I do know however that this is definitely a frame of mind. This outlook can be changed. It might take a bit of work and mental effort but the rewards of facing even the worst adversities in a positive light are worth the effort.

A pessimist sees only the dark side of the clouds and mopes; a philosopher sees both sides, and shrugs; an optimist doesn’t see the clouds at all – he’s walking on them – Leonard Louis Levinson

Posted in Deep and Meaningful, Life Experiences | Leave a comment

Honesty

Posted on November 1, 2011 by Naylin

“Some people will not tolerate such emotional honesty in communication.  They would rather defend their dishonesty on the grounds that it might hurt others.  Therefore, having rationalized their phoniness into nobility, they settle for superficial relationships.”  

I have always been a firm believer in honesty. Sometimes I am brutally honest and it does tend to get me into trouble. There are times when I have lied by omission when I think that telling someone something might be hurtful, but more often than not, I have ended up telling people exactly what I am thinking or feeling, and unfortunately this hasn’t gone down well.

Yesterday, a special friend was honest with me, and instead of worrying about hurting my feelings, she told me exactly what she was thinking. This friend had previously told me what she thought I wanted to hear rather than the actual truth and when the truth eventually did come out, it hurt much more. I called this friend to thank her for telling me the truth this time.

“Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie.  ~Robert Brault”

This friend then texted me today, apologetically. I was actually being very sincere with this friend when I thanked her for telling me the truth.

It isn’t that I didn’t trust this friend, it was that I couldn’t trust that what she was telling me was the truth and not what she thought I wanted to hear.

I have always told my kids that if they do something wrong, they should tell the truth. That if they lied about it, they would get into a lot more trouble than they would by telling the truth. This applies to all my dealings with people. Once you find out someone lies, no matter how good the intention is for lying, it is very hard to believe the person again.

“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you” -Friedrich Nietzsche

 

Posted in Deep and Meaningful, Life Experiences | 1 Comment

D-day is here.

Posted on October 23, 2011 by Naylin

I have been waiting for so long for this day. Like all Kiwis, I am confident that we are going to win, but also scared of jinxing it and saying this out loud. But here goes. I predict we are going to annihilate the French. The score is going to blow out and this is going to be the most one sided final there has ever been.

All in all I have been very happy with the All Blacks performance. I have always been a big fan of Aaron Cruden and Israel Dagg so am pleased that they are in. I was not pleased the Hosea Gear had been left out but Richard Kahui has stepped up nicely. Although a Waikato Fan through and through I would never have selected Stephen Donald. Robbie Robinson would have been my next in line although Isaia Toeava could have stepped up.

Anyway heres hoping we do it. Will upload photos from the game as soon as it is over.

Go the Blacks…

Posted in Rugby | 2 Comments

Intentions Misinterpreted

Posted on October 19, 2011 by Naylin

“Our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as being able to remake ourselves.” -Gandhi

Have you ever done something with the best of intentions that you thought were generous and thoughtful and then had your motivation for doing what you thought was a good deed questioned. This very recently happened to me and I was accused of being selfish.  

How did that make me feel? I became extremely angry. My positive intention had been misinterpreted and I had received a reaction that I didn’t think I deserved.

Initially I set out to try to get the people to acknowledge that they were wrong. This only served to bring up more frustration and hostility.

I have done a lot of reading around this and I think the line below by Lori Deschene best describes my feelings.

“We don’t have to fall victim to our instinctive emotional reactions. At any time, we can stop, assess what’s going on in our heads, and decide to respond a little more wisely based on what we know about ourselves.”

And that’s what I have done now. I know why I did what I did and no matter what anyone else thinks, I can live with myself. When you find yourself getting worked up about something, ask yourself how big a deal it really is, and remember it is what you think about yourself that is the most important thing.

This is my first meaningful post so would love to have some feedback.

Posted in Deep and Meaningful | 2 Comments

4 more years

Posted on October 18, 2011 by Naylin

This is for all my aussie “friends”….

Posted in Rugby | 1 Comment

I always have something to say about something.

Posted on October 14, 2011 by Naylin

Yep, I have been told that I have an opinion on everything and that I’m a bit of a stirrer. So what better than to start a blog and start stirring right away.

Posted in Deep and Meaningful | 1 Comment