“Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half.” ~Unknown
This is so true. There are times in our lives when we become annoyed, angry, frustrated and sometimes judge peoples motives wrongly and misinterpret things.
The way around this is of course communication. It’s best to communicate what you are thinking and what you are feeling. But what happens when there is no room for communication. Our mind plays funny tricks on us. We think the worst, we think the best, we give people the benefit of the doubt but ultimately if there is no communication we start to think the worst.
Admittedly previous experiences also help influence this decision.
So how should we deal with this. Firstly and most importantly, Be honest with yourself. Our minds play havoc with the truth sometimes. And it’s easy to say we should look at things more objectively.
Think rationally before reacting. Do not react in the heat of the moment. And never react after you have had a few drinks. Emotions are impossible to rationalize under the influence of alcohol. Everything becomes exaggerated.
“Anger always comes from frustrated expectations.” -Elliott Larson
The biggest cause of conflict in relationships is one person does something and the other makes assumptions about what it means. We all do this. I have presumed the worst in someone I care about simply because they failed to do what I would do.
Of course we have a right to communicate when we feel hurt or offended, but maybe love is learning to be hurt and offended less often. Should we just presume that the people we care about are generally doing their best—and should we recognize that instead of assuming the worst.
Communication is of course the key.
Agreed! Non-communication all too easily leads to thinking the worst. Negative emotions can so easily spiral out of control. Relationships suffer. Unfortunately it takes two to keep the lines of communication open. As much as we would like to, we can not change the behaviour of others, we can only choose to take a good honest (sometimes painful!) look at ourselves and change our own behaviour. It takes courage and persistance – old habits are hard to break and easy to slip back into.
Feelings of anger and pain are natural and have to be worked through. Everyone processes emotions differently and the more we love the deeper we hurt. Communication is the key, but don’t forget – “The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.” ~John Powell