Do Gooders and The Warrant of Fitness

Posted on December 24, 2012 by Naylin

The one problem with a reasonably affluent society like New
Zealand is that the middle class have so few real “problems”. Sure we all have
our interpersonal relationship problems, but their is no real starvation, no
oppression, no wondering whether you are going to survive the day etc.

So these people have to invent problems to make their lives
more fulfilling.

Typical example. Form a group to fight the law changes
regarding the Warrant of Fitness. Scaremonger on Radio, TV and newspapers on
how this change is going to increase all the dangerous cars on the road. No
facts or figures have been given to support these figures. Instead they use the
boyracers who have ilowered their cars as an example of this. The truth is that
very few of these boy racers cars are legal so they don’t even bother to get a
WOF. And the police are very vigialant about this and constantly check these
cars out.

When the original WOF laws were introduced, the majority of
new Zealander s  owned old cars probably
4th hand that had been on the road for many years. Cars weren’t made
as well as they are today and were held onto for far longer than they were
intended to. But times have moved on. Cars last longer, they are well made and
visits to the mechanic in the first 10 years of life are rate these days. So
extending the time between warrants to a year, not only makes sense but also
makes financial sense. I have lost about an hour each time i have had to take
my car to the Testing station. An hours less work. Payment for the Warrant
which has multiplied way above the level of inflation etc etc.

So yes, these do gooders really have no leg to stand on. But
does that deter them. Nope, with some money behind them and an actual feeling
of doing something, no matter how misguided it is, they plunge headlong into
this to bring some enjoyment into their stifled lives.

Get a life people.


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The Great Immunisation debate

Posted on November 2, 2012 by Naylin

Yesterday I commented on a friends page on a matter I feel very strongly about and got some comments back that I feel I have to blog on.

In a country like New Zealand, the majority of the population are immunised.  Sure there are complications with some immunisations but the majority of these complications are pain and swelling associated with the injections, occasional irritability and crying.

Yet some people ride the herd immunisation wave and quote the worst case scenario complications which are few and far between.

I commented on having come from South African and the reality of the situation there, however,

One comment was:

“I have been known to enjoy research for a while. Herd Immunity is an ideology propagated by vaccine companies and their scientific lackeys. From my own research it would seem the peoples on the continent of Africa have been cruelly experimented on by governmental and multinational contingencies. Add to that the drastic changes in living conditions, agriculture, health and spirituality of tribal communities post colonization, and you have a recipe for damage on a huge scale.
Compare this to the relatively stress-free (and I do mean relative) environment of a ‘normal family’ in Aotearoa, who’s biology and homeostasis is fortified by ‘sufficient’ food, water and medicine, who’s living conditions, hygiene and access to a broad spectrum of healthcare is adequate and who can chose from multiple forms of treatment (homeopathics, naturopathy, cranio, herbalism, bach flower, western etc), and we can conclude there may be a higher chance of combating certain diseases and illness.”

Firstly, do we really think that almost every medical practioner that we know, is subject to being duped by vaccine companies and their scientific lackeys. We all immunise our kids.
Ask yourself why this is?

I have been brought up in South Africa and have witnessed first hand the devastation that these illnesses we are trying to prevent have caused. In South Africa, there are lots of different classes but 2 distinct classes stand out, the impoverished, poor, malnourished, African society and the wealthy, healthy, overindulged Indian and White communities. There is no lack of access to the best healthcare in the world in these communities, but because of the lack of “herd Immunity” unimmunised children from these “privileged” communities still get the disease. And frequently enough that very few South Africans from those communities now risk their childrens health by letting them go unimmunised.

My learned colleague above quotes research that he had done to prove the opposite. Anecdotal stories are not research. It would be totally unethical to research the benefits of immunisation in any Western country. The numbers needed to truly conduct a **double blind, placebo controlled trial to see the benefits versus the risks of immunisations would be huge. I would love him to present his research to any valid scientific magazine so that it can be adequately tested.

Say what you want to about immunisation, think what you want to, but the truth is, Fail to immunise and you put your child and the health of nation at risk.
This isn’t scare mongering. It is the simple hard truth. I fear that we will have to reach that critical threshold when some of these illnesses start to rear their ugly heads in New Zealand again before people come to their senses.

  • ** double blind placebo controlled trial would involve having 3 groups, 1 not immunised
  • group 2 and group 3, given something.
  • group 2 will be given a placebo i.e. just water maybe
  • group 3 will be given the actual vaccine
  • neither the givers or the receivers in group 2 or 3 will know what they are giving or being given.
  • Finally the results are assessed by people who don’t know which was placebo and which was vaccine. This is done to eliminate any bias.
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Reacting to Anger

Posted on January 4, 2012 by Naylin

“Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half.” ~Unknown

This is so true.  There are times in our lives when we become annoyed, angry, frustrated and sometimes judge peoples motives wrongly and misinterpret things.

The way around this is of course communication. It’s best to communicate what you are thinking and what you are feeling. But what happens when there is no room for communication. Our mind plays funny tricks on us. We think the worst, we think the best, we give people the benefit of the doubt but ultimately if there is no communication we start to think the worst.

Admittedly previous experiences also help influence this decision.

So how should we deal with this. Firstly and most importantly, Be honest with yourself. Our minds play havoc with the truth sometimes. And it’s easy to say we should look at things more objectively.
Think rationally before reacting. Do not react in the heat of the moment. And never react after you have had a few drinks. Emotions are impossible to rationalize under the influence of alcohol. Everything becomes exaggerated.

 “Anger always comes from frustrated expectations.” -Elliott Larson

The biggest cause of conflict in relationships is one person does something and the other makes assumptions about what it means. We all do this. I have presumed the worst in someone I care about simply because they failed to do what I would do.

Of course we have a right to communicate when we feel hurt or offended, but maybe love is learning to be hurt and offended less often. Should we just presume that the people we care about are generally doing their best—and should we recognize that instead of assuming the worst.

Communication is of course the key.

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The Lessons that hurt

Posted on November 23, 2011 by Naylin

Heres something I found that I dont think can be improved on so I’m not even going to try. Its an article by Lori Deschene the author of Tiny Buddha.

“Don’t postpone joy until you have learned all of your lessons. Joy is your lesson.” -Alan Cohen

There have been times when I’ve hurt tremendously and then felt a strong need to punish myself for my part in causing that pain. Usually it’s when I’ve made a mistake, and I feel ashamed, like I should have known and done better.

This is kind of ironic when you think about it—clearly I wanted to know and do better to avoid hurting, and yet instead of letting it go, I’ve continued to make myself feel bad.

When I was younger, someone once told me the more we hurt, the more we learn. While I agree that pain can be one of our greatest teachers, I’d like to challenge the presumption that there’s a direct correlation between learning and pain.

I think a better belief about pain is that each time we hurt, we learn a little about hurting less. I’m not suggesting there will ever be a time when we stop experiencing pain. We’re human, and we will always feel the full range of emotions—which is a good thing, since there would be no light without a little dark.

But every time we deal with something painful, we have an opportunity to learn how to decrease our suffering.

With each difficult experience we can learn how to more effectively let go, forgive ourselves, and move on.

With each challenge, we can learn how to think about things a little more positively and respond a little more proactively.

With each struggle, we can learn to attach to our feelings less so that they do not define or control us.

We can live our lives feeling frustrated with ourselves for having room for improvement, or we can accept that life is constant growth and give ourselves as much room as possible for joy.

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Love

Posted on November 22, 2011 by Naylin

“Love comes to those who still hope even though they’ve been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they’ve been betrayed, to those who still love even though they’ve been hurt before.” ~Unknown

It is my firm belief that one cannot truly experience true love unless one is willing to give themselves completely and utterly to the other person.

In order to experience complete love, you need to be able to give complete love and you need to be able to be receptive to complete love.

Think of our kids, they give themselves to us completely and utterly and are totally dependant on us. And we love them unreservedly in return. No questions asked. No matter what they do, we never stop loving them. Yes sometimes they hurt us along the way. And yes some of us will get hurt along the way but life is not meant to be lived by always taking the easy road.

There are some people though who have been so emotionally scarred by previous occurrences in life that they find it impossible to trust anyone enough. By withholding a part or a lot of themselves they never allow their relationships to blossom to the level they could get to. This may of course be a protective mechanism. At times they do let down the barriers and let themselves lose control for a while but often regret the experience later. They hate what they become when they are with the other person. They find it easier to “control” the situation by being away from it. Unfortunately they will never get to experience that delight, that sheer ecstasy that goes with knowing that someone loves you as truly and as deeply as you love them. This situation is often difficult to get through without outside help because the person becomes “stubborn” and avoids situations where they might “lose control”.

There are others who lack the self confidence to believe that anyone could love them deeply. They cannot believe that they deserve to be loved so deeply. They question the motives of their loved ones. This is not easy to get over but with constant love and encouragement and reinforcement, they will eventually realise just how worthy they are of your love.

“If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don’t have it, no matter what else there is, it’s not enough.” ~Ann Landers

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The principles I would like to live my life by

Posted on November 19, 2011 by Naylin

Quotation below by persons unknown says it all really. Don’t think i need to add anything.

  • It takes years to build up trust, but only seconds to destroy it.
  • You can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.
    After that you’d better know something.
  • Don’t compare yourself to the best others can do,
    But to the best you can do.
  • It’s not what happens to people that’s important.
    It’s what they do about it.
  • Always leave loved ones with loving words.
    It may be the last time you see them.
  • You control your attitude or it controls you.
  • It isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others.
    Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
  • Your background and circumstances may have influenced who you are,
    But you are responsible for who you become.
  • Even if you do the right thing for the wrong reason,
    It’s still the wrong thing to do

Okay i might disagree with the last bit and change it to

Even if you do the wrong thing for the right reason, Its still the wrong thing to do.

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Trust

Posted on November 17, 2011 by Naylin

“You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don’t trust enough.” -Frank Crane

Having been brought up in South Africa as a Black second class citizen I have always been distrustful. South Africa was generally a corrupt society. You could get almost anything by greasing the right palms. Doing the right thing didn’t always get you places.

So I guess I have been guilty of instinctively mistrusting people and their motivation, and projecting past experiences onto them before they have even had a chance to show their good intentions.

This meant that I regarded people as being guilty until proven innocent. 

It just plain hurts to suspect everyone. It hurts to hold onto past disappointments, as if it’s only a matter of time until other people let you down. That’s not to say we shouldn’t trust our instincts when we suspect we’re in harm’s way. But the world is a far more peaceful place when you believe in people.

Today if you mistrust someone, remember: You tend to find what you’re looking for. Are you more invested in finding reasons to doubt or reasons to believe?  Some extracts taken from Lori Deschene.

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Success

Posted on November 10, 2011 by Naylin

I attended my son’s final chapel at his school last night and one of the readings was the reading below. It got me thinking? So many people regard success in terms of financial wellbeing. But what really is success? Is it just about being happy?  Is it about both financial and social wellbeing? I firmly believe that one needs to feel successful to be successful. That you need to live life to the full and that you need to respect yourself and have the respect of the people who surround you. The reading below pretty much spells it out.

What is success?

To laugh often and much,

To win the respect of intelligent people,

And the affection of children,

To earn the appreciation of honest critics,

And endure the betrayal of false friends,

To appreciate beauty,

To find the best in others,

To leave the world a bit better, whether by

A health child, a garden patch

Or a redeemed social condition;

To know even one life has breathed

Easier because you have lived:

This is to have succeeded.

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Hate versus forgiveness

Posted on November 9, 2011 by Naylin

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” -Mahatma Gandhi

Hating takes up so much of energy and so much of time. Once you decide to forgive, its amazing how much more relaxed and satisfied you become. Over recent times, although I never did get to the hate stage, I became obsessed with getting people to acknowledge the wrong that they had done. I reacted to this by going on the attack. I always regretted my reactions almost immediately. Some things once done however cannot be undone. I have not previously been known to be a very forgiving person but I have luckily not been put in a position before where people I really do care for have hurt me deeply.

My method of approach was simple. I like writing so I wrote down what was done to me, and then looked at this from the other persons point of view and could ALMOST understand why they did what they did. I then looked at how I responded. And how I felt when and after I responded. And I forgave myself for my response and stopped beating myself up about it. It was then easy to forgive them them for what they did. And I have moved on.

I have grown a lot in the last 3 months as a person and Sandie and I have grown even closer as a couple. One thing we have always had is that we have been able to talk openly and honestly with one another about everything.

I just hope that one day, these friends (yes I still regard them as friends) are able to experience the unconditional love, trust and openness that I share with Sandie every single day.

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Is Being Fine or Being Okay good enough

Posted on November 8, 2011 by Naylin

This is a line taken from the movie Hitch?

“What if fine isn’t good enough? What if i want extraordinary?”

I’ve spent my life never accepting that being fine is enough. I’ve strived to excel and I’ve strived to be happy. Some people settle for fine or just being okay because that is what they think life is all about. Eventually though, they will wake up one morning and wonder where life has passed them by, they will wonder where their best years have disappeared and they will make decisions that they should have made years ago. I have seen this happen time and again, and in particular to one of my very good friends. I never said anything to him until after he had made his decision but I always wondered how long he was going to accept things the way they were. He was in a marriage where he just existed, worked his butt off, never got any appreciation for everything that he did. Life was okay, but he was not happy. He finally did something about it and I have never seen him happier.

So if you do think that life is just okay, strive for more, KNOW that you deserve more and put things into motion to reach those goals, no matter how hard the first few steps might be. Don’t let guilt stand in the way of happiness. Everyone deserves to be happy.

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